GONNA HV 2 SAY BYE BYE to 3 YEARS GEH HIM

many thngs dat nt kira is gud had happen in dis few day
jz cz of little wrng...
little angryness
little dissapoinment dat he gave me....
i had lose my 3 years kor
haizzz...
y kant i found a kor dat rili gud rili nice dat will honest 2 me...???
i have less fren n less communication wth ppl
just like lots of ppl gt lots of their fren 2 communicte to
n my life is still surrounded wth silence n lonelyness..
evrytme whn i saw my frn have a vry vry nice n gud relation wth their kor ahh...frn ah....o hu else i will vry 'hap chou'..

last time i tght afta i gt dis kor i can have more frn i will have a kor dat will k me will treat me gud will sek me jz like his own mui...
bt he didnt...
i knw he`s gud 2 me oso but i still dun tink dat he gt da 'tiao jian' dat i wan
n now.... sumthng dat is unhappy had happen i jz angry ignore him n i will have 2 say bye bye 2 him..
2day hes da 1 hu say bye bye 3 year geh mui 2me 1st hes nt my kor anymore
i tink dis tme my life will mre silence dy
its so hard 2 find a frn dat rili gud rili nice...rili honest...rili kao dak ju....
its so hard 2 fnd lots of fren dat cn alwys bsid me always pui me always hlp dou me
its so hard 2 being a human being...
evry day hvng meaningless life lidat i wish i could leave dis world by NOW

THE LAST DAY

2day ws my last day here n it was sunday many ppls family r cumng 2 vsit dem..pei xuan`s famly had bought 3 set of smll pizza n sum soda drnk.tong tong`s fmily had bought many food too n a b`day cake 2 clbrte tong tong`s bday dat suppose 2 b on tuesday.pei xuan n tong tong`s famly r vry ne thy alys brng a smling fce n pei xuan little sis n bro`s skin vry vry vry whte.her little bro look exactly like her so............cute neh haha.....jenny`s bf is cuming 2 llook at her too..
whle jenny`s bf cuming in xiao yu followd her n sdnlly she call me 2 follow...n whn i run 2 her she pointed whr`s bear n say UR BEAR AT THR haha i wnted 2 grtful her cz she let me c him b4 i left there

b4 its da time my mum dem rch here...xia en,xiao yu,pei xuan,shun shun,AH B,jenny,tong tong,mei mei n monoct hd tke sum pic wth me..on the time we tking picca i ws memorising bek the happy memory dat thye gave me....their 38 voice,38 pattern....they r the most 38 group i ever meet..
xpecially monoct.althought i jz knw her 4 jz few day bt i cn feel the 38 frm her.the most i remembr frm her is wt she always do 2 ppl dat is "[boo sama dia....BOO....[ BOO] BOO sama dia.....[BOO BOO]...Gud sama sendiri....[GUD]"...haha dis always made me hepi bek whn i gt myslf vry dissapointd...

afta my mum rgh here im gonna hv 2 pck my thng,lapor diri at JLB,retrn their full lorng...on dt time i doin my thng xiao yu dem jz keep tlking 2 the wira there thy dun evn cum n hlp me
dat time i tght i will gonna hv 2 do evry ting alone...
on the time im goin 2 tke my thng out all of dem cum in n thy hlp me

xia en took my plastic of bottle
xiao yu too my luggage
shun shun took my KHIDMAT NEGARA dat big rubbish dump plstc bag 4 sure insde cntain my shoe n food la nt rubbish
pei xuan took my pail
N
ah b took my anthr bag
thy hlp me tke it frm DOM 2 JLB DEN FRM JLB 2 the gate...thy made me so gan dong
o tght i wont cry whn i lft there cz b4 i went in i ws vry hate there bt b4 i lft all of them hugged me i kant cntrl my tears.it flow out automatically

act i ws hvng a heavy heart 2 leave thr cz i hv strtd 2 b the life there i gt my frnds there i nvr b alone there...I LOVE NS Sooooo....much bt den my weak skin dun allow me 2 always gt undr the strng sun.no wmy eye gt serious sunburn n it becum sunburn panda eye YUCK...!!!! i llook like thse ppl dat dsnt hve enuf slp n i hv chtd my NS frn dat i hve rgstd 4 stdy so gonna leave thr.IM SO SORRY BOUT DAT ...nt i dwn go undr the sun wth dem nt i rilli wan leave dem bt my skin nt strng enuf n i gt a weak health i vry easy gt sick once i alwys gt undr the sun..i hope thy will undrstnd n wont gt angry

i lft there by 4.15 pm b4 i go bek julio n a guy bye bye 2 me oso ngek ngek...on the way i goin bek once agn i jz keep tinkng the days we all 2gthr.if i gt a strng health n a gud skin 4 sure i will sty there 3mth.i knt c dem once i lft.n also jonathn`s cute botak XD...
say till him i din c him since he tke hlidy 4 whole week.afta i bek 4 afew minute shun shun msg me n say '[UR JONATHN R BACK]' i gedebichaboom ki....whn i wntd 2 look at him he`s nt arnd....once i go bek he rch thr...as ppl say TAKDE JODOH @@

oh ya....b4 i lft pei xuan gave me a letter datwrte by her ystday nita.....so gan dong afta i read it
THX YA HAO REN ^^

10th APRIL

i have sicked 4 a long time till i`m nt able 2 upload my blogg..
on da....

10th of april 7.53 am

2day gt lot of shrt hav 2 wsh by myslf cz 2day is sat o doni 4 us....ADUII...
bout 7.30 am lidat we r odered go 2 dwn mkn.the breakfst is nsi lemk once i eat it.. EUUUU.....!!wat a dsgustng food...
b4 dat...once i went into the dwn mkn my eye will automatically fnd whrs DIL N BEAR .jst myb cz DIL can say is the oly male frn dat tlked 2 me here so i will fnd him bt BEAR....i jz duno y i ws so intrstd wth him. heh heh
we end up our brkfst wth din eat anyting n once we bek 2 dom shun shun n xiao yu ws slpt,ah qi pulak rding novl amy ws ironing da class shrt dat needed 2 b wear ltr 4 the ceramh sumthng bout $ n now was my turn 2 rst awile too ngek ngek....

whn its almst time 4 crmh our jurulth put the lady gaga`s bad romance...i was too tird i kant even hear it till whn AH B wakes me up oly i hear the song.... our dom`s frn sing non stop haha it mad eme feel dats its my nce day 2day till i oso go n chnge my tag wth zatul muakekekeke...on the time we hvng crmh i kant stop myslf frm fndng whrs BEAR seat..but i failed i nt dare 2 look furthr..i jst giv up fnding him i was slpt cz i rilli vry vry tird afta i ws awke xiao yu told me dat she can c BEAR frm her seats direction

i told myslf dat 2day was my last say riadah here i mst tlk 2 bearn mke frn wth hm bt den....HAIX....bear go n talk 2 shun shun..
ACT once shun shun appearnce she mke me lost me keyakinan
cz she rilli vry pretty many guys love 2 look at her..whn i saw bear strt tlkd 2 her i ws so dwn n sy 2 myslf dat "FINE DY LA....IM NT BEARS CUP OF TEA I DUN HV THE LVL EVN 2 B HIS FRN" afta awile DIL cum n tlk sum wth m...i was so hepi dat my last day riadah i stillg t chnce talk wth DIL
wt i cn say bout DIL is he is the nicest malay guy dat i hd ever meet althght we jz tlke twice bt he`s the 1st malay guy dat tlkd 2 me

BEKKK....

pheww...its alrdy been alng tme snce i bek here frm NS
frm the time i knew i hv 2 go 2 NS dy i hv alrdy stopped my blog..dat time i gt no time no mood 2 tink wats im gonna 2 wrte in my blog....
i have 2 arrnge bek my mood 4 goin 2 NS bt den i have came bek here afta 2 week i went 2 NS ....i said 2 myslf dat i wnt bloggng anymre...bt den whn i ws in NS i kant do it...insid there kant bloggng bt still gt diari 2 wrte ^^ i have wrte sum diaries a few day whn i was there
afta i have fnsh resting...IM NOW BEK 2 MY BLOG N I WILL STRT BLOGGING BEK
i knw my blog dosent have anyting dats interstd dosent nice n nt attrcted...
BT...
the reason dat i strt blogging is jz 4 release wats insid my mind...wats hppn 2 me...n oso realese my mood here i wnt k eithr my blog is nce o nt...i will jz k wat i wrte here n now im bek 2 my blog

my NS frn gave me lot of nce memory till i kant blog myslf 2 wrte it down wats hppn evrydy
bt my NS blog is jz gt few of it cz da tme thr wasnt enuf 4 me

on 9th of APRIL 2010 11.12pm

[i wrte dis by usng my own torchlight afta our doms light has been turn off cz its da time 2 slp]

anther 2 more day i`m gonna leave here
i have 2 leave here....leave all my frn here...memry here...n ect ect
N also him.....[BEAR] i will miss dem so so mch

HMMM......2nte i flt emo i flt dat i was so useless.
i knt gt mre frn here xcpt my dom`s frn n my clss group frn.all my dom`s frn like xiao yu,shun shun,pei xuan xie en also gt their lot of new frn here.bt me.....im nt barve 2mke any frn if thy din come talk 2 me 1st..cz i still duno their real charcter n i afrsid if i hd say wrng any dat will mde dem ngry n hate me
dis few day mt eye gt da sunburn n it bcum mre pain day by day...i kant tahan the pain anymre..once i gt undr the sun,my eye wil damn pain..at last i gt mc 4 2day...i tin da dctr kant gt my meaning whn i say under my eye was pain n he gave me a small bttle of eye drop =-='''' duh on dat day shun shun oso gt da mc
ystday was xiao yu n xia en mc n we jking dat huh 2day they two gt mc 2mr is our turn 2 tke da mc...who know we jz talk n we rili gt da mc haha

on 5.30pm dats our riadah time...mw n shun hsun snipped out frm our dom 2 join xiao yu dem riadah cz we damn bored sty insid da dom[act the reason is find 'PPL' dat we wanna c muahahahha...]
dat time i just wanna c "BEAR" i duno y i just feel like i like 2 look at him n i rili kant made him out of my mind..since i hve 2 leave here soon i tght 2day wanna ctch a chnce n try 2 mke frn 2 him...bt den..i din do it..I DUN HAVE THE THE CHANCE N I NT DARE 2 DO IT!!!!i was jz putus asa n cntinue keep loking at him like usual
HIAZZ...
i was so.....useless
bt den luckily at least still gt DIL jog wth me awile..
DIL is frm company DELTA wira...he same class n same group wth me ngek ngek
HE was such a nce person n if i gt chnce b his frn i will b vry vry hepi

i realise dat [SINCE I CAME HERE I STARTED GT INTERESTD WTH MALAYS GUY]

im bek^^

theres been long time i din write my blog n i oso duno wt im gonna sayng here...
by the way....at last i have bek t.i 4 few day holiday frm my PLKN...dat made me suffer alot there wth the undelicious n disgusting food...wth under the hot hot sun evryday n i have 2 wsh my shrt by MYSELF ....
i was unhepi n have such a damn bad mood whn i gt the PLKN letter...n i jz leave 4 there wthout many ppl knwng it....

i went there on28th of mac
i sw jonathan n my a daughter of my mum`s frnn there bt both of them i oso duno each othr
i was vry scrd on the way i went there...
i scrd dat i kant get frn there scrd dat duno evrythng there n ect ect
bt THX GOD
once i went into the dom...theres few chinese gal there n thy being vry friendly n funny...
on the 1st day i was there i alrdy cn gt my frnd
thy tch me wt have 2 do...thy hlp me n i was vry njyng wth them
i 4gt some of their name cz thy`re nt same dom wth me...
i jz remember those who same dom wth me....(paiseh paiseh ppl old dy is lidat 1)
i was nt afrd of any1 there cz of xiao yu`s help heh heh...
on the 1st time i went into my dom...i saw 7 of the chinese gal 3 of them r frm othr dom...
once i went in...thy greet me n ask ask ask alot of funny ques n dat time xiao yu{thats 1 of the frn dat same dom wth me) was ironing shrt she say dun bother dem... thy all abnormal 1 in among so many ppl im the most normal 1... haha
afta dat thy told me their name 1 by 1 bt till now i still kant remember it XD
n pei yen she the most gud ppl we alll call her hao ren she vry nice n her skin damn white...the way she laugh was very funi is huh huh huh 1

AT LAST...

dis few day raining heavily....n i was njying da cooling air by da rain ^^
n on last two nite after yumcha wth my kmuii we went longkai wth her kai kai kor on da car we opnd the window...
wth cool wind cool air n da song we hear mede me so relax
n dis had gave me a relaxing mind emm....huh
by the time of it i had tink alot...
n i oso had made alot of decision...
i will 4gt eveythng bout HIM...
n strt my new life wthout thnkng of HIM....
haha ^^
i dun wan b a single lover...dats a stpd thing i ever had...im nt suppose 2 wait sum1 dat smlr den me dat dun have feel wth me
i say 2 myself dat DUN B SO IDIOT
so....at last i had rub him off n jus made his s my frn ^^
n diss....had made my mood less b moody dy hehe
N NOW....i will jz concntrate 2 sum1 dat nice dat gud 2 me n i wont tink othr ppl dy

ACT DO I HV FRN??

my i knw whr all my frn had gone????o i nvr have frn o m i so being hated by ppl?
dis few day i was soo moody i try 2 nt fidn any1...bt den???my ph nvr rang nvr have sum msg frm any 1..
im so dissapointed i knw im a useless ppl...i kant gv ppl any benefit...bt is dat my life????my mum born me out is 4 gvng my frn o ppl BENEFIT....???
oh plsss im nt da benefitter dat i have 2 gv benefit 2 those ppl..
my mum born me out is 4er i havng a life...hvng my own frn....hvng my social n bla bla bla..
bt den???ppl jz take me s their banafitter...whn i dun have wt thy nid wt thy wn o whn i kant gv any benefit 2 ppl....n whn i din fnd dem,,,,
thy will nt evr find me...xcpt 1 of my same age frn...
dis few day i was superb damn moody...is thr any1 knw it????is thr any1 here 2 comfort me???
no!!!
no1 evr knw n no 1 evr cum n do it...
wt thy knw???thy jz knw dat i kant gve dem any benefit anymre n thy wont fnd me n jz let me die...wth moody...oh if lidat im gonna gttng crzy

now me n my kor relationship n da way we communicate bcum wrst day by day...all JZ bcz of my damn shit moody mood if nt im chttng wth him dy
bt my moody made me nt dare 2 chat wth him cz i afrd i will scld him xcdntly

BT
THX GOD DAT 2 DAY I HVE CHAT WTH MY LONG ITME DIN CONTACT DY DE GUAI ZAI DATS ALAN N ALSO MY LUII JUN
2day whn i fnd DEM 2 chat thy was jkng wth me n the way n the mood thy chattng wth me gttng alot better den last time whn i find dem chat
WHN I SAW THEIR MOOD SO GUD XPECIALLY MY ZAII...
FRM DA TIME I STOP CNTCT WTH DEM N I CNTINUE FND HER 4ER SUMTIME...2DAY DA 1ST TIME I C HER MOOD SO GUD...
whn i c her mood is gttng bttr den last time nt s moody s stress like last time i was so heppi...
N OSO WAWA DATS MYGUD FRN FRM WHN I WAS STILL VRY SMALL TILL NW...HAHA
SHE OSO CHAT N JKE N OSO HEAR MY XIN SHI...SHE WAS ALSO DA TYPE OF PLYFL PPL LA

MY MOOD WILL GT BTTR BY 2 DAY ALL WANA THX MY ZAII,LUI N my GUD FRN WAWA OH...
THX U GUYS...BT DEN I HOPE DIS SITUATION CAN B KEEP ON TILL 4EVR
K LA OFF BY HERE....IT1S VRY LTE DY
NITEX ALL